Went to meet my lover he had told me he had a surprise for me. I was eager to learn what my surprise was. As he opened the door to the hotel room as usual all inhabitions flew out the window. He took my hand and lead me into the room, there stood a beautiful woman. No words were needed it was all understood with a look. I was lead to the bed and they both caressed and kissed me and each other. The passion ensued his shaft was in me. Tongues entwined with the beauty slowly slipping down to her full breasts. Biting ever so slightly and ending with a kiss. The harder he rammed his rod into my cave the more I seached out the beauties necture. I look up to see my lovers tongue in the beauties mouth I slid my tongue into her silky sweet lips she moans with delight and gives way to her essence. As my lover is about to let his eruption loose the beauty and I share the bounty of our pleasures. As we collapse in each others arms we know this will only be the beginning of a hot sultry affair.....
I am new to this so please feel free to be brutally honest, and any suggestions are most welcomed. Thank you for the read!
ReplyDeleteVery sensual, what a lovely surprise. You need to carry this story further honey.
ReplyDeleteThis has potential for a wicked story, in full. Your lack of punctuation through me off at first until I came to the comculusion it was deliberate. I paced myself, so I hope that was your intention...? Nice first:) xo
ReplyDelete.....that is "threw", of course:) xo
DeleteThank you and I will keep in mind the wonderful suggestions and appreciate them very much!
DeleteVwry sensual. Loved it. Great first TTT.
ReplyDeleteDefinate potential as Muffy mentioned. Although perhaps deliberate, the lack of punctuation takes from the strength of your words. I realize you're limited by word count here, so my personal suggestion, expand on it in much more detail on your own.
ReplyDeleteIntriguing first though! Nicely done Tantalizing Tursday. :)
menage a hot!!
ReplyDeleteI hate to harp on it but I agree with the punctuation comments. Very sensual!
ReplyDeleteThank you I will work on all the points, very greatful for your suggestions.
ReplyDeleteHoly hell woman!!! That was one heck of a first try. I will agree with the other comments about punctuation and a few spelling errors, but otherwise...just wow. And now you need to delve deeper into this and let us all know what happens next. xoxo
ReplyDelete